"Seek first to understand and then to be understood". - Consider how we really listen to eachother?
"Most people don't listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply" ~ Stephen Covey
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them, but when you ask yourself the questions; how do I listen and who am I listening to most of the time, you may find that the answer surprises you.
We are always listening to ourselves, also known as internal dialogue. We listen for what we agree with, what we disagree with, if we like what is being said or not, we are continually interpreting the speakers words based purely on our own experiences, beliefs and opinions. There is nothing wrong with this but if we truly want to understand someone we need to practice a different type of listening.
Focussed Listening is when you are fully attentive and focussed on what the speaker is saying, this type of listening takes effort and is not done every day.
So how can you do this?
If there is someone in your life that you really want to understand then remember that you can by giving them the space to speak and the gift of true listening.
With positivity and love,
I-Lan
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